Guest Speed Racer Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Eleven tracks for W(TA), eleven tracks for W(TL). I'm done! It's been fun, and if it weren't for a typo on a legal document of my own yesterday I might have actually had to work. I spent less time on the track order than I did the parodies, which is really saying something, so sorry if your cerebral mixtape doesn't flow smooth like butter. Thanks for all the love, and the AMAZING titles to work with (Pieholden Fuck You Pay Me is still way so totally my favorite). I don't mean for so many of the songs to come off as hatin' on Jay, but Wilco did pen a lot of spurned-lover songs that really lent themselves to the plaintiff's side; I think it's a testament to his contributions to the band that W(TL) is Summer Teeth-heavy. Wilco (The Lawsuit) 1. Subpoena Queen2. He's a Czar3. My Darling4. Lawyerteeth5. Pieholden Fuck You Pay Me6. Jesus, esq.7. Via Cook County8. Litigation9. Wilco Royalties10. Hoodoo Sue You11. Tortreform SUBPOENA QUEEN They say money's pourin' downBut it's not where I'm aroundso I'm comin' back to town I want your paycheckSo that I can make the rentand my hip that I just spent - I'm lookin' like a wreck Supoena queenGood god I'm meanI'll been suing like a fiendFor your royalties green I always sue in May -I say - it's better payThe room fills with suitsAnd I'm ready for my fruitsBut the judge he keeps on jokin''Cause the contract isn't broken Supoena queenGood god I'm meanI'll been suing like a fiendFor your royalties green Supoena queenGood god I'm meanI'll been suing like a fiendFor your royalties green HE'S A CZAR He's a czarWith a funny beardSo fierce and fearedA circle's-centerWith money hidAnd now he begs me not to sue him He says forever to pull a ruseWe could useA handful of cashFor a day offAnd a broke hipHowever, he won't feelYour claim is real When I forget how to talk, I blogWon't you pleaseBring that tune to shineAnd turn my face redUntill you payAnd my hip gets sickStuck, like a check left uncashed I'd climb aboardIf someone could help meTo my fragile legal teamAnd watch me summon, inches above,The people underneath Please beware the quiet court roomI warned youBefore there were things to signI warned you not to lieDry your eyes, you poor devil Are there really claims like these?The ones I fileFloat like leavesAnd fall to spend skeleton centsI went through before I sued you I believe it's just becauseJay B's payday is not enoughOh I believe it's all becauseJay B's payday is not enough I'd climb aboardIf someone could help meTo my fragile legal teamAnd watch me summon, inches above,The people underneath He's a czarWith a funny beardSo fierce and fearedA circle's-centerWith money hid And now he begs me not to sue him MY DARLING Let's go to court nowMy darlingAnd I'll sue all the good things awayThink now, of sweet thingsAnd I'll find a way to make sure you pay Because I made youMy darlingWith the gift, deep down in my heartI made you famous, my darlingRight from the start Write songs nowMy darlingPlease don't you write them too fastAnd be sure, darlingTo make all the royalties last Because I made youMy darlingWith the gift from down in my heartI brought you talent, my darlingRight from the start LAWYERTEETH Like a frown his hip crumbles down He's a bedridden songman, a legal clownHis hand's reaching for the piggy bank And every evening when he stays homeTo feel resentment inside him growHis myspace cries while his posts get old It's just a claim he keeps makingAnd it doesn't seem to mean anythingAnd it doesn't seem to mean anything One summer, a dreaded guyAnother autumn, you meets Nels Clineheadaches come, you puke, you cry And every evening when he stays homeTo feel resentment inside him growHis myspace cries while his posts get old It's just a claim he keeps makingAnd it doesn't seem to mean anythingIt's just a claim he keeps making He's unlucky to sue you hereNeeds insurance, needs good careHe thinks we forgot he was even there It's just a claim he keeps makingAnd it doesn't seem to mean anythingAnd it doesn't seem to mean anything It's just a claimAnd it doesn't seem to mean anything PIEHOLDEN FUCK YOU PAY ME there's a bad word I would like to scream into your ear butcops won't let me get that close to you right now there are things I should have signedbut I was high and now I'm broke butnow you know that I wantto sue in the beginning we wrote some songswhenever you sang, I sang alongthen you did me wrong JESUS, ESQ. Jesus, don't sueYou've got enough of my moneyYou can't combine everything you want I'll be aroundYou were right about guitarsEach one is a lot of fun Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake in your sad, sad songtuned to chordsspurned royaltiesfor surgeryturning your pelvis around Don't sueYou've got enough of my moneyYou can come by any time you want I'll be aroundYou were right about guitarsEach one is a lot of fun Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake in your sad, sad songtuned to chordsspurned royaltiesfor surgeryturning your pelvis around Lawyers whineTwo summons are scraping together Your voice is shakingLast minute bets are all you can getTurning your pelvis around The courtThe courtThe court is all we have The courtThe court for all of my moneyEach judge is impartial, son Ex-partners shake, lawyers partake in your sad, sad songtuned to chordsspurned royaltiesfor surgeryturning your pelvis around Lawyers whineTwo summons are scraping together Your voice is shakingLast minute bets are all you can getTurning your pelvis around Last minute bets are all you can getTurning your pelvis aroundLast minute bets are all you can getTurning your pelvis around VIA COOK COUNTY I dreamed about suing you again last nightit felt alright to mefiling on the terms of a contract left unsignedI watched your wallet bleedburied you alive in a settlement todayraining down on meyour cold-hard cash flowing over me like a sea I printed my name on the back of a suitAnd I had it filed awayThe dough I had in catalog of songs and moviesIs all I tried to saveSo my health brought me back, via Cook CountyIn the middle of the springAnd all for $50k (read: fifty-k), or whatever comes from this thing You know I'll break my back one of these daysAnd turn on poor VCYou'll watch a man with a face like mineSuing fans for their parodiesAnd when I get caught I won't be rightAnd I won't get a cent I'm suing you,I'm suing you,Via Cook County my cups are cracked and hooked above the sinkit makes me thinkcumbling pelvis bones don't fix themselves on their own, nowcrawling to court with a lash, sue into submissionto rest my hip on a pillowy star at a hospice carewho says I wouldn't go that far? gotta pay the rent,god my hip is spent,searching for a cent,via Cook County searching for a cent,searching for a cent... LITIGATION LitigationIt can't help nothin'About my painAbout my pain Bad emotionAn band commotionDemotionDemotion mea culpa a priori egoOh I tried to steal the showGood intentions in sightBut I just wasn't right LitigationIt can't help nothin'About my painAbout my pain I file a claim for little thingsSo my life will changeBut in so many waysI find more missing every day Litigation I'm filing this suitSo you will think of meHow you'll feel I cannot know No one's ever gonna take my job from meI lay it downI pull the thornI pull the thornI pull the thorn Hip commotionA cane promotion I'm diagnosedDiagnosed Hey I'm diagnosedDiagnosed WILCO ROYALTIES I'd like to rest my broken hip tonightOn a bed of Wilco royaltiesI'd like to lay my mount of debt tonightOn a bed of Wilco royalties I'd love to feel Your cash touching mePlease understand You must keep working on Yes you'll give your lifeSo I lay my hip tonight on a bed of Wilco royalties I'd like to dream My troubles all awayOn a bed of Wilco royalties Jump up from my bed restWalk around the blockWith a cane and Wilco royalties I walk like crap'Cause I rocked too hardAnd didn't heed adviceFrom a doctor's ward So you'll give your world'Cause I wrote some songs with youNow you owe me Wilco royalties HOODOO SUE YOU Hoodoo, sue you, fifty-thousand times twoHey-plaintiff, ho-lawyer, CourtTVHigh-broker, low-blower, ninety-nine-to-zeroCourtroom, tort-time, sue you off your pants Black pen and blue suit, one, two, three, fourDreadlocks, dead-locks, OMGBiggy man, little man, lawyer man, judgey manGrasping for greenbacks, hold my hand Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hooTrue fool, how true? Suing you now! Writer one, writer two, collaborating hot tonesTwo, four, six, eight, percent dividePretty song, pretty film, quote yourself to Sam JonesI'll produce, you'll be fine Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hooTrue fool, how true? You're suing me now! Jinga jangler, tinga lingle, mellotron on overloadCircle's center, bandmate scamper, huggle me closeNo Ken, hot Glenn, lotsa blow in AmsterdamCut the dreads, and sue my ass some more Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hooTrue fool, how true? You're suing me now! Hoodoo sue you, hippy-hippy boo-hooTrue fool, how true? You're suing me now! You're suing me now! Cut the dreadsAnd sue my ass some more You're suing me some moreYou're suing me some more TORTREFORM I'm the boy who files a lawsuitI'm the boy whose hip'll fall apartTortreform, I lie to myselfI'm the boy that sues your heart out I know I should be more prudentI know I should watch what I sayTortreform and I'm a safe crackerI served you first and then broke in We slip and slide on the settle-out-of-courtmineI make my mind up to never quote myselfAnd every time I file a claimI live my life for someone else Ooh whoa He's at the Loft now with cherub music men(He got his way)I'm on the sofa (I want my way)Hoping he leaves them all 'cause I'm the boy with the poetry powerI'm the boy, heart went sourAnd every time I file a claimI live my life like I wasn't invited Ooh whoa He got his wayI want my way I'm the boy who files a lawsuitI'm the boy whose hip'll fall apartTortreform, he fired me firstAnd I'm the boy, don't get me started I know I should be more prudentI know I should watch what I sayTortreform, I'm a safe crackerI served you first, then broke in Ooh whoa Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Francis X. Hummel Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 6. Jesus, esq. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bleedorange Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Thanks for compiling all of these. Great work. Now we just need someone here to record them and we can sell them to help pay off Jay. It's a benefit CD for both parties! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Thanks for compiling all of these. Great work. Now we just need someone here to record them and we can sell them to help pay off Jay. It's a benefit CD for both parties!Like I said, Tribute Album Vol. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jff Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 One summer, a dreaded guyAnother autumn, you meets Nels Cline lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GtrPlyr Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 You had me by the time I hit He's a Czar . A circle's-centerWith money hid you can't go wrong with references only a fan would get. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
W(TF) Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Yes this will be 'acclaimed' in the anals of VC lore...lol Great job. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird jam Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Outstanding. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mpolak21 Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Bonus B-side: Muzzle of Fees! Muzzle of Fees: There's a random filed lawsuitAnd a muzzle of feesMy wallett's come unstitchedFrom meeting his pleas When Jay plays some say he's genius,I don't think they're wrongBut six years of making musicWas two years too long And the songs get passed from stage to stageEndlessly, and I get paidWhen the suit blows throughInto the courts in MayFinally back to Jay You're assuming he left a messageOn my machineI'm assuming he loathes me And you know what that means Songs get passed from stage to stageEndlessly, and I get paidWhen the suit blows throughInto the courts in May When the suit blows throughMy head, I scoff at JayFifteen for you, lots for meFifteen for you, lots for me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jff Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I'm already working on the sound collage in Less Than You Think You Should Have Been Payed. I'm having a little trouble getting the right balance between the sounds of cash registers, gavel banging and briefcases latches opening and closing, but it should be ready in time for Vol. 2. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Speed Racer Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Shoot, Mike! I totally forgot that one, thanks! And that was one of my favorites, too. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Central Scrutinizer Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Somehow Spiders (Kidsmoke) missed the track list ... Some interesting parallels between what's being "spun." It's probably best to avoid the low-hanging fruit tho. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Winston Legthigh Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 When I mixed the segue to H.M. Drummer, you started to puke... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mountain bed Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I'm already working on the sound collage in Less Than You Think You Should Have Been Payed. I'm having a little trouble getting the right balance between the sounds of cash registers, gavel banging and briefcases latches opening and closing, but it should be ready in time for Vol. 2. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
explodo Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 This is truly unbelievable. It would be a gas if they played one or more of these versions live. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gueringray Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Yes this will be 'acclaimed' in the anals of VC lore...lol Uhhh....I believe that should be ANNALS Anals is something COMPLETELY different. But, different strokes I guess..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Speed Racer Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Uhhh....I believe that should be ANNALS Anals is something COMPLETELY different. But, different strokes I guess..... Eh, I'm kind of an asshole; happy to go wherever there's room. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dontknownuthin Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 This is really impressive. Very funny. "Writer one, writer two, collaborating hot tonesTwo, four, six, eight, percent dividePretty song, pretty film, quote yourself to Sam JonesI'll produce, you'll be fine" That might be my favorite line of all of them. Nice job! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Preferred B Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 I think the most impressive thing was how you churned these out in a freakishly short period of time, Lauren. And this is my favorite line: "Dreadlocks, dead-locks, OMG". I heard the song "Retrieval of You" today for the first time in a couple years. It reminded me of other possible routes Jay could have taken. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moss Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Speed, too bad you can't parley this into a career because as far as I'm concerned you should be able to make a living at it. Thanks for the laughs. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ih8music Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 once again, awesome job! And this thread is nicely packaged for someone "with connections" to pass along to Jeff & co. I think hearing a live rendition of 'Hoodoo Sue You' at some point along the tour would be the stuff legends are made of. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gewee Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 Most awesome. Can't pick a fave. They are all too good. And with this Western civilization has peaked. OK what's next Quote Link to post Share on other sites
giraffo Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 oh, oh, I got one, I got one! i hear you whisperi hear you whinei hear you hangin' on a sour grape vine oh, why so angry?what's mine is mineyou got resentmentyou're sick and tired you want me brokenyou want me deadi'm livin' rent-freein the back of your head hey, chickenyou're all talkhey, chickenyou're all talk oh, uh-oh boo-hoo i see your sistershe's lookin' fineoh, she's been hangin'on my sour grape vine oh, why so angry?just rise above itman,it's been a long time you want me broken you want me deadi'm livin' rent-freein the back of your head Quote Link to post Share on other sites
trentasaurus Posted May 9, 2009 Share Posted May 9, 2009 You kick ass. Also the girl in your picture is hot. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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