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natalie jane / st. genevieve

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It's all so beautiful and perfect that I'm dissolved in tears again. Thank you, ladies, you staged a beautiful ceremony. The shot of the river is poignant & lovely.

 

This is the poem I wrote for Nat.

 

Sweet Natalie

when we first met

you drew me in

with your laughter and wit

our friendship deepened

as you shared of yourself,

with tinfoil gods

come to live on my shelf

In every post

whatever you

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My deepest and sincere condolences to Natalie's local friends and family and especially to everyone here who maintained your friendship with Nat. She really was a special gal - I met her in Portland once. My fondest memories though are of playing around here on VC, swapping stories about Collin Meloy or the wacky culture of message boards (I remember a book discussion somewhere in there too), trying to soak up her appreciation of Robyn Hitchcock (she was the one who notified me about the connection to bees!), and appreciating her artistic interpretation through the tin foil sculptures.

It's strange - over the years I would have fears about this type of thing happening to the community we fostered. It totally sucks that it has actually struck our group.

 

St. G, you touched countless souls and now as much as we can't let you go, I hope yours is at peaceful rest.

 

I was meant for the stage,

I was meant for the curtain.

I was meant to tread these boards,

Of this much i am certain.

 

I was meant for the crowd,

I was meant for the shouting.

I was meant to raise these hands

With quiet all about me. oh, oh.

 

Mother, please, be proud.

Father, be forgiven.

Even though you told me

'Son, you'll never make a living.' oh, oh.

 

From the floorboards to the fly,

Here I was fated to reside.

And as I take my final bow,

Was there ever any doubt?

And as the spotlights fade away,

And you're escorted through the foyer,

You will resume your callow ways,

But I was meant for the stage.

 

The heavens at my birth

Intended me for stardom,

Rays of light shone down on me

And all my sins were pardoned.

 

I was meant for applause.

I was meant for derision.

Nothing short of fate itself

Has affected my decision. oh, oh.

 

From the floorboards to the fly,

here i was fated to reside.

And as I take my final bow,

Was there ever any doubt?

And as the spotlights fade away,

And you're escorted through the foyer,

You will resume your callow ways,

But I was meant for the stage.

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I do not know if this the right forum for this, but I wanted folks to know about the recent passing of natalie jane, a longtime wilco poster and fan. This is a posting from the Sweetaddy forum, a friend posted this:

 

natalie jane, a long-time sweetaddy poster, passed away on thursday here in portland. shes been a poster since 2002, but hasnt been as active in the past few years.

were not certain yet what, exactly, was the cause of her death. she had been ailing a bit in the past few weeks, but we were taking care of her and she seemed to be doing better.

nat had just moved back to portland a month ago (from austin where she was completing her midwifery apprenticeship) and was so happy to be back and around people that cared so much about her.

whether you test out your tinfoil sculpture skills, kick sleater-kinneys ass at trivia, or just break out your favorite wilco or jim orourke record, please take a moment to remember how wonderful, brilliant, talented and passionate natalie jane was.

we will miss you natalie jane, more than youll ever know.

xx

 

I just saw this and I am stunned.

 

Wow.

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I've been following this all for the past week or so...

 

I didn't even know any of this had happened until I randomly checked my MySpace bulletins last week and saw the one from Rosie that said "RIP St. G".

 

I thought, surely this can't mean what I think it means?

 

So I checked the TTL forum here (that I rarely frequent these days), and I read this thread of Natalie's tragedy and all the beautiful memories of her life. I never met Nat in "real life" and didn't really have much communication even online. But I know she loved the Decemberists, and that she was a midwife. And that was enough to endear her to me.

 

I have neglected to post here because I didn't know Natalie in person. But in reading all of your lovely memories and seeing the beautiful pictures of Kate's memorial, I've come to a huge realization... we live in an age where it is entirely possible to "know" someone even if you never meet them in "real life". The concept is amazing to me, still. Probably because I'm old... :lol And I have met a number of you in real life, or talked to you on the phone, or exchanged messages online. But there are still so many of you that I have never had any real "personal" contact with yet I consider you to be a friend.

 

I think I've been a VC member since 2002, and I thank the powers that be every day for this place. I really only have time for one message board, and this is it... and it has brought me into contact with more wonderful people than I think any other board ever could.

 

So let's face it... we rock. And we are so lucky that Natalie was (and still is) a part of our community. We are all better for having known her, whether in person or "just" online.

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I've been following this all for the past week or so...

 

I didn't even know any of this had happened until I randomly checked my MySpace bulletins last week and saw the one from Rosie that said "RIP St. G".

 

I thought, surely this can't mean what I think it means?

 

So I checked the TTL forum here (that I rarely frequent these days), and I read this thread of Natalie's tragedy and all the beautiful memories of her life. I never met Nat in "real life" and didn't really have much communication even online. But I know she loved the Decemberists, and that she was a midwife. And that was enough to endear her to me.

 

I have neglected to post here because I didn't know Natalie in person. But in reading all of your lovely memories and seeing the beautiful pictures of Kate's memorial, I've come to a huge realization... we live in an age where it is entirely possible to "know" someone even if you never meet them in "real life". The concept is amazing to me, still. Probably because I'm old... :lol And I have met a number of you in real life, or talked to you on the phone, or exchanged messages online. But there are still so many of you that I have never had any real "personal" contact with yet I consider you to be a friend.

 

I think I've been a VC member since 2002, and I thank the powers that be every day for this place. I really only have time for one message board, and this is it... and it has brought me into contact with more wonderful people than I think any other board ever could.

 

So let's face it... we rock. And we are so lucky that Natalie was (and still is) a part of our community. We are all better for having known her, whether in person or "just" online.

 

Yes, yes, yes to every sentiment you've expressed, Bridget. As tragic as this is, the silver lining is the way it has pulled us together, and made us realize how much we love and value each other. Thank you Natalie, you keep giving us gifts even now. :cheekkiss

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Donna, I just realized today that I missed the b-day thread for your two wonderful sons. I was reading it and all I could think was that one of the last memories I have of Brennan is him buying Scooby-Doo fruit snacks at Super Target on the way to Red Rocks. That made me smile. I can't f***ing believe the kid is 17 years old.

 

And I'm sad that I haven't yet met Tom, but I believe that I will one day.

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Donna, I just realized today that I missed the b-day thread for your two wonderful sons. I was reading it and all I could think was that one of the last memories I have of Brennan is him buying Scooby-Doo fruit snacks at Super Target on the way to Red Rocks. That made me smile. I can't f***ing believe the kid is 17 years old.

 

And I'm sad that I haven't yet met Tom, but I believe that I will one day.

 

Yeah, now he eats pretty much anything that isn't nailed down. Inhales is maybe a better word. I'm sure you'll get to meet Tom one day, as well as Alissa, 11-going-on-19.

 

 

One of my biggest regrets right now is that I was always sure I had plenty of time to meet Natalie. I knew her anyway, but I'd have liked to meet in "real life".

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I keep thinking I've said goodbye for the last time...but I still haven't made peace with this yet.

 

Kate and Robin...I tried my hardest to find my way up to Ste. Genevieve on Saturday, but it just didn't work. The memorial looks like it was absolutely lovely and I'm so glad that you two actually did it.

 

I suppose the only way to make this easier is to keep fighting for the causes that Nat devoted her life to. She influenced my feminist views of the world so much and now it's an incredibly important part of my life as well.

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I've decided that every time I eat an Easter Creme Egg, I'll think of Nat instead of feeling guilty. :monkey :monkey

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Last night's ceremony in Ste. Genevieve couldn't have been more perfect. First we walked through downtown Ste. Gen. We found Ste. Genevieve Winery just as they were closing, but they let us come in and buy two bottles for the ceremony. We were going to go into the Church of Ste. Genevieve and light a candle, but Mass was in session.

 

Even though Ste. Genevieve sits on the Mississippi River and was under over 40 feet of water in the 1993 flood, there's not much in the way of river access. We had to drive down a gravel road into unknown territory. We came to the tiny ferry boat dock, which had several rock outcroppings into the river nearby. There were some fisherman who looked at us like we were about to conduct some sort of Satanic lesbian goat sacrifice, and they made a hasty retreat.

 

It was dusk when we found our spot, and by the time we arranged the flowers, candles, and notes, it was pitch black aside from our candles. There was so much cloud cover that we didn't see the moon until after we were finished. We placed the McCormick's beautiful purple bouquet in the center, surrounded it with the notes, readings, prayer cards, wine and Fluff's perfect little tinfoil sculpture, and then arranged the candles. As you've seen from Kate's photos, it was beautiful. Just pure, serendipitous beauty, as we had no real plan on what we were going to do with all the stuff.

 

We opened the bottles of wine, talked about Nat and our VC friends, and then embarked on the readings. If anyone wants to share what they sent, go for it. I don't want to violate anyone's privacy. I chose to read Tear-Stained Eye, words that were surprisingly appropriate for the occasion. After each reading, we would toast Nat with the wines that shared her name.

 

When we finished the readings, we sent the pieces of paper into the river's current, followed by the individual flowers from the bouquet before blowing out all of the candles. There were many tears in the darkness after we extinguished the last candle.

 

As we left the river, Kate cranked up Uncle Tupelo: 89/93 and we sang "Screen Door" and "Graveyard Shift" at the top of our lungs while driving along that gravel road by the river.

 

So many people here last night were spoken of with love and affection. You were with us.

This and the poems and the photos are all very beautiful and appropriate and poignant. A touching send-off.

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after hearing about this a week ago, I still can't believe that she is gone. I think of her every day.

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i continue to cling to the hope that Nat went peacefully and gently, in her sleep and that she wasn't afraid or in pain or suffering.

 

 

please let that be what happened.

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I keep thinking I've said goodbye for the last time...but I still haven't made peace with this yet.

 

Kate and Robin...I tried my hardest to find my way up to Ste. Genevieve on Saturday, but it just didn't work. The memorial looks like it was absolutely lovely and I'm so glad that you two actually did it.

 

I suppose the only way to make this easier is to keep fighting for the causes that Nat devoted her life to. She influenced my feminist views of the world so much and now it's an incredibly important part of my life as well.

 

 

she can, and will live in you, Rosie

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she can, and will live in you, Rosie

 

So true, Drew. And she lives in each of us as well, because she affected our lives with her own.

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after hearing about this a week ago, I still can't believe that she is gone. I think of her every day.

 

me too.

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i know it doesn't make it any easier right now...but it is an extremely valid point that when a special person like nat passes, that they are never really gone. people like her touch so many folks that they'll live on for years to come in the pieces of themselves they left in others.

 

i'll make a tinfoil sculpture in her honor, take some solace in the fact that i know she FINALLY listened to public enemy before she moved on and hope that bob stinson is convincing her as i type this that the replacements were really that good of a band. :innocent

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i continue to cling to the hope that Nat went peacefully and gently, in her sleep and that she wasn't afraid or in pain or suffering.

 

 

please let that be what happened.

 

 

 

Although we still do not know the exact cause of death (hopefully we'll know soon), I can assure you that it appeared that she had been sleeping peacefully and gently.

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Although we still do not know the exact cause of death (hopefully we'll know soon), I can assure you that it appeared that she had been sleeping peacefully and gently.

Thanks for letting us know that.

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I was telling Reni that in the absence of any real information, my imagination runs wild, trying to fill in the blanks. It really helps to know the facts, even when some of them are painful.

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IKate and Robin...I tried my hardest to find my way up to Ste. Genevieve on Saturday, but it just didn't work.
Rosie and I sent Natalie a postcard from the town several years ago when we went through there on a family trip down to Memphis....

 

LouieB

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