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natalie jane / st. genevieve

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I'm so far beyond stunned that I've just been sitting here for the past hour crying, unable to organize my thoughts enough to even post. Alissa keeps handing me tissues, hugging me, and reminding me that we'll meet again, in a better place. I do believe that, but it's hard to remember in such a sad time.

 

Natalie, sweet girl, I trust that wherever your soul is now, you are aware of all the love we all feel for you. You did so many wonderful things with a much-too-abbreviated life! I sit here now, typing, with my 3 tinfoil sculptures gazing contentedly down from the shelf beside me, where they have lived all the years since you crafted them. Only once did they abandon their posts, during a strong earthquake. In the hail of shelf knick-knacks that rained down around them, thankfully nothing connected. I remember my relief at seeing that they hadn't sustained any crushing! I love those little sculptures, because they represent Nat's huge heart and brilliant spirit. Few people manage to live with the sort of joyous intensity she brought to her life.

 

I really can't believe Nat has gone from us, so suddenly. She made me laugh so many times with her razor wit and funny, funny posts. It's obvious that she shared her love & tinfoil skills far and wide, and the joy she brought to the simple act of living elevated it to an art form and an adventure. Thanks for everything, Nat. See you again sometime. :cheekkiss We love you.

 

I miss her so much already. :no

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Wow...such horrible news. Sam called to tell me earlier. I happen to be in Portland, now, visiting my dad. I am going to go to the memorial on Sunday. If anyone wants to send or PM messages or thoughts to share, please do.

Nat gave Sam a tinfoil sculpture of Andrew Bird. We have it on our mantle. It will be muchly cherished.

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As promised, Natalie's lovely voice:

 

California Stars

Kamera

Song for Myla Goldberg

Book of Love

 

And here's Nat with Jane, the original timelinechick, performing on the first VC Tribute CD as Flimsy:

 

Box Full of Letters

 

(these were recorded under varying circumstances at varying quality; if you turn up the volume for California Stars, be sure to turn it back down before clicking on Box Full of Letters!)

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She was definitely a great presence and while I never got to meet her, I can say without a doubt that she was a wonderful person. I need only look at all the people she has touched in such positive ways to know how greatly she will be missed.

 

"You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on."

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I've been a stranger to VC lately - no time to stop and smell the roses, post on here or send Natalie my address so she could send me an "avante garde music for lovers" mix CD that she had crafted for me. I regret never hearing it, and I also regret having a small fraction of her passion for music and for life. We'll miss you, Natalie.

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Damn, I've just been catching up. What a shocker. I've been hearing way too much about people passing away lately, and this is saddest news yet...:no

 

I had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with Nat a few times, I think most recently at Jeff's solo show in Portland in early 2006 (on the tour for the Sunken Treasure DVD). We were standing next to each other at the front of the stage and I remember chatting with her before the show started and thinking, 'Wow, this is the first time I've really had a chance to talk to her. She's very cool.' I also have a distinct memory of her hanging outside the San Jose Center for the Performing Arts after the Wilco show there in November 2004, waiting to give each band his personal tinfoil sculpture.

 

Condolences to you guys who were especially tight with her. And special thanks to all you archive diggers for finding some memories. They reminded me about some of the early days of this place, and how Nat was a really big part of it. RIP. We'll miss you.

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I was so shocked yesterday when I read this that I couldn't think of a thing to say, and I'm still reeling. I only ever talked to Nat on the phone, I never got to meet her in person. Though given her straightforwardness, meeting her here definitely counts as knowing her.

 

Bbop mentioned to me back channel how this is a reminder to carpe diem, and he's right. The diem is all we've got, I know Natalie seized hers, and I'm going to try to follow her lead.

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I was so taken aback by all of this, I even shared it with others outside the VC World.

 

One such person happened to be the one who introduced me to Wilco in the first place. He had Son Volt's 'Tear Stained Eye" and played it for me. (I had mentioned that someone posted some lyrics from it here yesterday.) It's a beautiful tune. I was very happy to share "all the greatness" that was Nat with other folks.

 

Hugs & Sympathies still to you all so deeply affected...

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This Saturday, in honor and memory of Natalie, Robin (poppymom) and I are going to be driving to Ste. Genevieve, MO. We are going to the Mississippi River at dusk, and will hold a small memorial service for Natalie there. We are going to make sculptures to set free onto the river along with some flowers and maybe some floating candles. If anyone would like to send sculptures (or anything else you'd like floated off in the river, notes, etc) to be a part of our little memorial, PM Robin for her address.

 

Just wanted to give this a bump.

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received a call from greg last night.... never knew miss natalie but im certainly due for an out of the woodwork visit here... not the best occasion. rip natalie...

 

"may the good lord shine a light on you, and make every song you sing your favorite tune."

 

xxoo

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wow. this is amazingly sad. While i never knew her personally or as well as so many of you - when i think of what i knew of her in the early days here i just think of exuberance and joy and all the color she added. RIP.

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Condolences to Natalie's family and friends. Just reading over the posts here makes it abundantly clear that she was so well liked -- it's really impressive and inspirational how many people she befriended, how many people cared for her. Like Beltmann said, I always figured there would be a day when I would meet Natalie IRL. But we all can take comfort in the words she left behind here at VC. I credit her for introducing me to Beulah back when I was new here. Over time it became clear that our musical tastes coincided (Beulah, XTC, The Decemberists, Robyn Hitchcock, etc) so I always keenly followed her music comments. I'm pretty sure I once had a St. G. XTC compilation but in my poor archiving system can't find it anymore. :( I so wanted to share that with you all.

 

I had been so stunned by all this news yesterday afternoon I couldn't even process it emotionally until I listened to some XTC last night in her honor, and it hit me and I shed a few tears for losing her bright light so soon.

 

Rest in peace, Natalie - you were well loved here on Earth and will be missed by really countless people whose lives you touched.

 

Oh, and Brianne, your tin foil sculpture is amazing! :wub

 

And Oblivious, your quoted poem is really, really poignant - thank you for posting that.

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This is very sad and unfortunate news. My sincere condolences to her friends and family and all of you who were a close part of her life.

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I'm getting nothing done today. Instead of staring blankly into space, I decided to read some of Nat's posts. This is one of my favourites:

 

There is a little fuzzy caterpillar crawling along the top of my laptop. Every time it gets to one edge, it gets confused, turns back around and crawls to the other edge.

 

Having a really limited nervous system must kind of suck - but then, the caterpillar probably doesn't realize how much it sucks.

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As promised, Natalie's lovely voice:

 

California Stars

Kamera

Song for Myla Goldberg

Book of Love

 

And here's Nat with Jane, the original timelinechick, performing on the first VC Tribute CD as Flimsy:

 

Box Full of Letters

 

(these were recorded under varying circumstances at varying quality; if you turn up the volume for California Stars, be sure to turn it back down before clicking on Box Full of Letters!)

These are beautiful, Maudie. Thanks.

 

SO sad.

 

I wanted to change this sig I've had for a year, but what's another year...

 

Rest In Peace, St G.

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I wanted to change this sig I've had for a year, but what's another year...

It's a keeper. Ah, Nat, still making me laugh!

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It's a keeper. Ah, Nat, still making me laugh!

 

I'm sure Nat is somewhere laughing and pleased! Her spirit will live on here at VC.

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:(

 

even though i didn't know her nearly as well as a lot of the folks on here, people like her don't come around very often.

 

man... so fucking young... so not fair :no

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this was posted on Natalie's livejournal today:

 

Dear friends-

 

Natalie Jane Jacobs passed away on January 3rd, 2008. She had been ill, and though she went to the hospital, it appears that she was discharged without appropriate care. After receiving no response to their phone calls, concerned friends found her in her apartment, apparently asleep. We are still waiting for the medical examiner's conclusions on the cause of death.

 

As everyone on her friendslist knows, Natalie was an amazing woman. She struggled with depression, but in the past few years she was winning that fight and she brightened the lives of everyone she interacted with. Her writing, so rich, eloquent and insightful, has impressed and touched many. Her passionate love of music, stories, knitting, sewing, singing, animals of all kinds, midwifery, and people will live on in the memories of all who knew her.

 

Her friends, both local and from afar, are gathering in Portland Oregon this Sunday, January 13th at 2pm for a memorial service. We will be listening the music she loved, eating and drinking her favorite foods, sharing stories of her, and generally trying to honor her memory as best we can. If you are interested in attending, please leave a comment with your email address and you will receive the address for the service. Even if you can't attend, please leave your thoughts and memories- they will be read aloud at the service.

 

I don't know where you are, Natalie, but we miss you and we love you. I hope you know that. Peace be with you.

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